– Working

A. The fate of this relationship depends on her values.

Is she grateful? Does she understand she has privileges others don’t? Does she want to make her own decisions, even if her father doesn’t agree with them? Does she have empathy for people with less?

If you can say “yes” to a bunch of those questions, this could be fine.

If you don’t know the answers, try asking. The two of you click, so I think it’s safe to get honest. As in, “Having a parent who can cover expenses … that’s so different from my life. What is that like for you? Is it ever complicated?”

Class is a big part of how we bond with a partner. It’s no surprise that the people I’ve loved most, in romance, have come from a similar amount of money (or lack of it). They tend to have the same ideas about saving and spending, and excitement about what money can buy.

But that doesn’t mean a person with more or less wouldn’t get it.

Again, if you’re really clicking in all other ways, you can explain your questions and talk about them. Try not to be mean about her accepting money from a parent who has it to give. Be curious, as opposed to judgmental.

Of course, if she actually calls it “Daddy’s money,” you’re allowed to break up with her yesterday.

– Meredith

READERS RESPOND

The source of the money isn’t as important as her values about money and how to use it, and how many strings are attached to that money. That’s the conversation you need to have. WIZEN

Some families with wealth find ways to distribute that wealth to their adult kids in a way that won’t end up with a lot being lost to the estate tax once it is an inheritance. On the other hand, if her dad is interfering or calling the shots, this will probably be a no-go. If they are well-balanced about it, and she has a good head on her shoulders, and you end up together, this could be a situation that you benefit from along the way, too. REDDINGTON77

I’m curious as to how you [know] her dad is wealthy. Did she bring it up? Office rumors? This letter kind of cracks me up because I support my daughter and two grandkids for various reasons, and by all appearances you might think I was wealthy, but I work two jobs. Yet, she has a nice place to live and a nice car. Wealth is very relative depending on your perspective. PRIVATELIFEDRAMA

Have you met the man? Have you seen, in person, his interaction with his daughter? He may not be a controlling purse-strings kind of guy. He might just actually love his daughter. ROXYGG

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