The author of this GQ article conducted a sleep experiment where they wore clothing inspired by Ebenezer Scrooge for a week and tracked their sleep patterns. Each night's sleep duration, awake time, REM, light, and deep sleep phases were recorded, along with a sleep score.
The data showed varying sleep times and scores across the week. For example, on one night, the author slept for 7 hours and 27 minutes with a sleep score of 78, while another night resulted in 8 hours and 14 minutes of sleep and a score of 79.
The author found the nightshirt to be somewhat restrictive and generally uncomfortable. The hat was the biggest problem, consistently getting dislodged during sleep and causing discomfort.
While the experiment didn't provide a definitive conclusion on the impact of the clothing on sleep quality, the subjective experience highlights the importance of comfortable sleepwear.
Time: 7 hours 27, minutes (11:40 p.m.—8:00 a.m.)
Awake: 52 minutes
REM: 1 hour, 15 minutes / Light: 5 hours, 17 minutes / Deep: 55 minutes
Sleep score: 78
Thursday
There was some strange beeping noise happening on the street below my window in the morning, which produced a prolonged period of being awake. For the second consecutive night, I was back to just wearing underwear beneath the gown, which had just been cleaned (along with the hat) by the lovely couple who owns my neighborhood laundromat. It took me a while to calm down for bed here because this was the night that Tyrese Haliburton hit his frantic shot to close Game 1 of the NBA Finals, and I had to consume a bunch of content about that, naturally. The whiplash of hootering and hollering about modern basketball and then strapping on pajamas from the 1840s really made me chuckle.
Time: 6 hours, 45 minutes (12:18 a.m.—8:19 a.m.)
Awake: 1 hour, 16 minutes
REM: 49 minutes / Light: 5 hours, 15 minutes / Deep: 40 minutes
Sleep score: 70
Friday
Finally, the last night of this wildly silly endeavor. Hilariously, my notebook tells me I dreamt I had a lab report due, a fitting take on the classic I forgot to do my homework or study for the test, even though I have not been a student in eight years recurring dream. (I also wrote “dreamt of grape lollipops,” for what it’s worth.) Once again, with nothing to do on Saturday morning, I slept in, and woke up without that foolish hat being anywhere near my head. This was on the heels of seeing T-Pain, Mk.gee, and Tyler, the Creator’s sets at Gov Ball, so the exhaustion of standing for so long is part of the stew here. At long last, I knocked out for eight hours, and was in a state of deep sleep for two of those, a new personal best! Thank you, music.
Time: 8 hours, 14 minutes (1:21 a.m.—10:59 a.m.)
Awake: 1 hour, 24 minutes
REM: 1 hour, 1 minute / Light: 5 hours, 5 minutes / Deep: 2 hours, 7 minutes
Sleep score: 79
The main item in the honk shoo ensemble—the long nightshirt—was a bit like a hospital gown, with three buttons and a breast pocket on the front, and then more snap buttons on the back. It was made, as many a novelty Amazon purchase are, from an imported polyester cotton. Wearing it made me feel stifled, so I usually wore it with the bottom two buttons on the back undone for optimal comfort.
The worst part was the hat. It refused to stay put as I slept. I’d wake up at various stages of this exercise to find the hat lying next to me, tucked between pillows, or banished deep into a hard-to-find cavern of sheets. The little ball that dangles from it, while cute as hell, provided its own challenges. It would get stuck underneath my shoulder blades—I’m a side sleeper—and always required some care when I’d roll over to find a more comfortable position. Boy, I hated that thing.
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