This article explores various ways to stay connected with friends in today's busy world. Several Atlantic staff writers share their personal strategies for nurturing friendships.
The article contrasts the prevalence of texting with the value of more spontaneous and shorter phone calls. It emphasizes that the methods for maintaining friendships vary depending on individual lifestyles and preferences, but the overall goal is to find meaningful ways to connect and strengthen bonds.
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Welcome back to The Dailyās Sunday culture edition.
Friendships sometimes fall to the wayside out of not malice but unintended neglect. When lifeās responsibilities pile up, performing the requisite (though enjoyable) friendship maintenance can sink lower and lower on the to-do list. So we asked The Atlanticās writers and editors: How do you like to stay in touch with your friends?
Lately, Iāve been trying to connect with friends when I find myself thinking about themāespecially if it involves a funny memory that we share.
A recent example: I was driving on the Pennsylvania Turnpike a few weeks ago when a song came on the radio by a beloved female pop legend. My mind jumped to my friend Anne, whose husband is an old friend of said pop legend. Anne, however, is not a fan, because the artist was once very mean to her dog, Pancake.
Next thing I know, Iām calling Anne, whom I had not seen since before the coronavirus pandemic. I told her that I had just heard a song by this particular Grammy-winning, dog-hating singerāand that I did not enjoy the song, out of loyalty to Anne and to the memory of Pancake (since departed).
Great laughter ensued on both ends.
āI have nothing else. I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and why,ā I told Anne.
āThank you!ā she said, still laughing. āThis makes my night.ā
The exchange took less than a minute. The joy lasted longer.
ā Mark Leibovich, staff writer
***
Donāt get me wrong: I loveāloveāgabbing with the girls. But sometimes, Iām so tired that I canāt hold up my end of the chat. I havenāt a single juicy life update to share. I wish to simply listen to my friends talkālike a live podcast?ābut conversation is apparently a ātwo-way street.ā In these moments, thereās nothing better than sitting side by side, silently, in the dark.
Iām talking about movies! Iāve gotten in a lovely rhythm: Some pals and I have the app Mubi Go, which allows you to watch one film in theaters each week and does the work of choosing for you. This way, we know weāll get together regularly; itās just a matter of coordinating which day to watch. If the movie is one Iāve never heard of before, I like to show up without Googling the title, so I truly have no idea what Iām in for. Afterwards, weāve got plenty to talk about; we compare notes over a snack or a drink, debating divergent interpretations or naming scenes that moved or frustrated us. And you know Iāll be sending movie-review links in the group chat until the next showingāso the dialogue never ends, in the best way.
ā Faith Hill, staff writer
***
My roommate has a sweet, older black Lab named Ethel. Lately, Iāve been asking my friends to come with Ethel and me to the dog park near our apartment for some people-watching, especially now that the cherry blossoms are in bloom. Weāve seen a man playing the saxophone on our street corner, pickup-basketball games on the courts, and plenty of picnics along the fieldās perimeter. While my friend and I catch up and exchange gossip, Ethel also gets to socialize with some of her friends: Pluto the dalmatian, Ruthie the Samoyed, Anchovy the Chihuahua. Going to the dog park is great because itās low-commitment and endlessly entertaining; it gets me and my friends into the sunshine, and it gives Ethel an extra hour of playtime too.
ā Genevieve Finn, assistant editor
***
Iām always reading books, watching shows, and listening to music that friends have recommended to me (which may help explain the tens of thousands of minutes I logged on Spotify last year). We talk about what we liked and disliked, and Iāll often send them recommendations of my own. Itās an easy way to connect with friends who live far away or have busy schedules: Why not make some time to listen to a good song?
Occasionally, this practice has taken me outside my usual viewing and listening habits. Once, a friend asked me if Iād watch horror movies with him, a genre that I wasnāt interested ināand a little afraid of. But he said that no one else would go with him, and I wanted to hang out. Thatās how I found myself sitting in the front row of a theater, watching vacationers get picked off one by one in Midsommar. I surprised myself by growing to like the genre. When the pandemic hit months later, we saw a horror movie together almost every weekend over Zoom.
Of course, friendship is about more than just having the same taste. But investing in those points of connection can lead to other conversations, ones that go deeper than whatās on your screen or in your headphones.
ā Will Gordon, senior associate editor
***
Much has been made of how people of my generation (Millennials) and younger donāt like to talk on the phone anymore. Texting is the primary medium of friendship these days. I accept this, and I do like to text (please, donāt stop texting me, friends!). But since texting took over, the phone call seems to have become a drawn-out affair. My friends and I text to schedule a time to catch up over the phone, and block out an hour or two on the calendar. Itās a Whole Thing, a big, hearty meal. As satisfying as this is, if thatās the standard we hold, weāll be more reluctant to call one another regularly. And thatās a real shame.
The snack-size phone call is a dying art, but Iām trying to keep it alive. I love a random, unscheduled chat. I love to hear my phone ring and not see āPotential Spam,ā as expected, but instead the name of a dear friend. I love to give a pal a quick jingle and chat for a few minutes while Iām walking to the store, or folding laundry, or even soaking in the bathtub. Hearing a friendās voice and having them keep me company in lifeās mundane moments is so lovelyāeven just for a couple of minutes.
ā Julie Beck, staff writer
Here are three Sunday reads from The Atlantic:
The Week Ahead
Essay
The End of the āGenericā Grocery-Store Brand
By Ellen Cushing
Inflation is (pretty) high, economic growth is stagnant, food prices are soaring, and Americans are once again turning to store-brand goods: In 2024, sales grew 3.9 percent, and the year before that, 5 percent. But this time, people actually want to be buying the stuff ⦠If grocery-store products used to be unremarkable, undesirable, inferiorāthe thing you bought because it was cheap and availableāthey have, over the past decade or so, become a draw.
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