Actual data about what women want in bed is lacking, and I am but one woman, laden with bias. I’m writing about the theory of being Good At Sex (see Pt 1: Starve Her Brain), so I figure if I’m going to be giving advice, I at least want to verify that my advice aligns with the concrete evidence. So I decided to do a survey to map out the landscape of what women want and the kinds of variance you should actually care about

Other posts in the series: Pt 1: Starve Her Brain Pt 2: Women's Sexual Subtypes Pt 3: Men Are Werewolves Pt 4: The Marketplace of Sex Acts Pt 5: Sex as a Status Game Pt 6: Misjudging What Women Want

And, more importantly, what elements of things women like in bed are most predictive of other things they’ll like in bed?

So I asked ~450 women with a bodycount of 5+ to rate how much they liked ~50 different things men do during sex.

The items were things like:

• During sex, a guy's penis isn't cooperating, but he tries hard anyway, attempting to insert a half-soft dick

• During sex, he is decisive and does things, like positions or sex acts, without asking, simply maneuvers you into what he wants to do

• During sex, in missionary style he positions your legs high up, above his shoulders

• During sex, the guy is more aware and calculating (as opposed to primal or 'losing himself')

• He inserts his tongue into your ear

• the guy ejaculates after 3-4 minutes of penetration

• Your orgasm is very important to him

• During sex, he explicitly asks for consent before each new sexual act

• He initiates cowgirl position (you on top, riding him)

I asked mostly (not entirely!) my followers, because the women who follow me tend to be more liberal, sexually promiscuous, kink-friendly women - exactly the demographic we want here. After all, if you’re going to be banging ladies casually, they’re most likely going to be more promiscuous women - the classic Slutcloud Effect. My selection bias is your selection bias. <3

And if you’re gonna be banging a lady who’s not promiscuous, then this means you’re probably in a committed relationship with her, which means you should be talking with her at length about her preferences, gaining the alpha straight from the source, not reading this blog post series about how to optimize your chances of blowing the most women’s minds in the shortest time possible.

In this post, I’m looking at:

Are there meaningful clusters of sexual subtypes? I did a factor analysis on this data to see if there’s clusters of types of women in bed, and how to most quickly identify the type of woman you’re dealing with.

Because women clearly have a wide range of preferences - one woman might hate what you do while another woman might love it - but in what way do they vary, and how can you rapidly figure out compatibility based on a small amount of signals? What elements are most predictive?

In my factor analysis, I found two particularly strong (and unintuitive!) axis, and a few supporting subclusters. This basically means there’s four main questions I’d recommend to understand the most about her sexual preferences in the smallest amount of time. Although, if you wanna take more time to understand the full landscape, I’ve included a branching tree diagram (dendrogram) so you can see exactly how women’s sexual preferences cluster, and how deep the splits go.

A few of the spectrums really caught me off guard. My guess is that men are aware of a couple big ways women are different in bed, but are mixing up a few types of sexual categories that on the surface look like the same thing, but are actually pretty unrelated and might lead to a lot of accidental misreads during sex.

With each question below that ladies voted on, I’m including the % of women who selected moderate or extreme preference for it, and I’m sorting the questions by how predictive they are.

Anyway, onto the juicy bits. The first spectrum, splitting women almost exactly 50/50, might seem obvious at first glance: