Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Submit questions here.

Dear Prudence, 

My wife and I enjoyed living in our home until our elderly neighbor who lived across the street from us passed away, and a couple with a horde of unruly kids moved in. Recently, the kids were playing baseball in the street (despite there being a park down the road), and one of our car windows was shattered by a line drive. The kids had fled the scene by the time I got out there.

When I went across the street and informed the parents, I was met with a shrug and a, “That’s just what happens when kids are around.” When I later brought them the bill for our out-of-pocket costs to repair the damage, they refused to pay. I want to take them to a small claims court.

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The trouble is, my wife is staunchly against it because she thinks it will cause a feud with them. We raised three kids, and if a neighbor came and told me one of them had broken a car window, I would have paid for the damage, not taken it as a personal affront. If anything, I would have been angry because the neighbor had to come to me in the first place instead of my kid owning up to what they did. How can I get my wife to understand that if someone takes being held responsible for their kid damaging property as an insult, it’s their problem, not ours?

—Your Kids Break It, You Bought It

Dear You Bought It,

If your wife doesn’t like the idea of being in a legal battle with her neighbors, then it actually will be her problem if you decide to take them to court. You should go into a conversation with your wife knowing there’s no correct or incorrect way to feel about this, so there is nothing to “get her to understand” other than your feelings.

One thing you might share with her to bring her over to your side is that there isn’t much of a relationship to protect here. If she’s really against having an adversarial relationship with the family across the street, remind her that the ship already sailed when you demanded money and they refused to pay. But then, really listen to her when she responds. Remember, the goal is for the two of you to agree on a solution, not for me (or you) to force her to share your opinion. There’s no small claims court for marital disputes, and you don’t actually benefit from “winning.”

Classic Prudie

My relationship ended because although we were still in love, we were at an impasse where children were concerned: He had gone from “maybe” wanting them to 100 percent committed to living child-free. I have always wanted to be a mother, so we split amicably and I moved back to where I’m from on the other side of the world. I discovered I’m pregnant two weeks ago and am feeling conflicted.