I was talking to my girlfriend the other day about how weird it is that we hadn’t met before. We frequent the same groups, we have a ton of friends in common, and we live nearby. Not only had we never met before, but we hadn’t even heard each other’s name.

I was thinking about this, and about how weird God’s timing is sometimes. And yet, the more I think about it, the more I realize that it’s not weird at all that we hadn’t met before. I now think it’s a good thing that we hadn’t. I think God had a hand in keeping us apart until the timing was right, because if we had met earlier, I’m not so sure it would’ve worked out the way it’s working out right now.

I don’t think she would’ve liked me before. She’s been a devout Catholic her entire life, in word and in practice. She’s always been committed to the pursuit of virtue, and I wasn’t.

If we had met before, I wouldn’t have had a chance with her, and she would have had no interest in the narcissistic, arrogant, selfish boy that I was at that time. I went through a period in my life when I thought it was “cool” to be with a lot of women, and I got dragged into the Red Pill lifestyle, where degeneracy and selfishness abound. Maybe that was attractive for those girls that have bought into the lies of the feminist movement and sexual liberality, but not for any woman with any virtue. I wasn’t virtuous myself, so it wasn’t a surprise that I wasn’t attracting many virtuous women.

I’m telling you all of this because in hindsight, I am very grateful that I didn’t meet my current girlfriend earlier, and that God gave me some time and tough lessons to turn my life around before meeting her.

That conversation inspired me to write this article, in which I want to share 10 character traits that will push good women away instantly. I’m basically describing who I was back then, since many of these are traits I had before I decided to give my life to God.

You’ll notice these are all character traits, not physical or material ones. Because even though the material matters, good women assess you based on your virtue, not on material things —although it’s clear that those material things can be a reflection of specific virtues: a fit body signals discipline, wealth signals an ability to provide and sacrifice, etc. But the point is that if you want a woman of virtue, your focus should be on developing virtue yourself.

A good woman is looking for a leader, and that includes a leader in spiritual matters too. You can’t expect to attract a good, faithful woman if you are not committed to growing spiritually and very clear about your beliefs and the beliefs you’ll raise your children with.

Saying you’ll do something and then failing to do it or saying you believe in something and then acting against that belief is a huge red flag. It shows weakness, confusion, lack of clarity and purpose, all of which are things that make you unreliable and unattractive.

Leading a marriage and a family is a massive responsibility. If a man shows himself to be incapable of rejecting confort in favor of virtue and incapable of sacrificing for the sake of something higher, he proves that he’s not up to the task. Again, this makes him unreliable and incapable of leading properly throughout the inevitable challenges that will arise in the future.

Nihilism is a natural consequence of atheism, and it’s incredibly unattractive. A nihilist is a defeated loser, and that just doesn’t help you with women at all. Women want a man who inspires them, who believes in a higher purpose and who has a reason for living.

Love requires uncommon sacrifice, compromise, and humility. A narcissistic man won’t have these traits. He’ll be manipulative, selfish and childish. This means he’s unreliable and impossible to trust. You might get some earthly wins by being self-centered and prideful, but eventually it’ll come back to bite you, and virtuous women know this.