Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Submit questions here.

Dear Prudence,

My boyfriend and his ex-wife have two teenage daughters, and they all call each other “Mommy” and “Daddy.” As in, the parents still call each other Mommy and Daddy when referring to or speaking to one another, and the daughters do as well. I completely understand children using these terms with their parents, but I have to admit that when the adults call each other Mommy and Daddy, it just … weirds me out. I can’t pinpoint exactly why—it just feels off.

To be clear, I’m not looking to ask them to change how they speak to one another; it’s clearly a longstanding, affectionate part of their family dynamic. But I’m struggling with how to shake this ick-factor reaction I have. How can I stop feeling so uncomfortable about something that objectively isn’t hurting anyone?

—Cringing Quietly

Dear Cringing Quietly,

I would feel the same way, and I’m a tiny bit hopeful that repeated exposure will help you get used to this. If you can’t see that happening, here are a couple of other ideas.

Maybe you could ask your boyfriend to tell you the story of how they decided on the Mommy and Daddy thing? Tone will be important here. You don’t want to do it in a “Explain yourself, you weirdo” way, but rather in a “I’m so curious about the different way humans move through the world” way. You might hear something that would make it make sense. Or at least get enough additional information to dilute the “eww” feeling.

Finally, as a last resort, play the “It could be worse” mind game with yourself. They could be calling each other Mommy and Daddy and having an affair! Or they could be calling each other Mommy and Daddy and engaging in a bitter custody battle that cost tens of thousands in legal fees. Or they could be calling each other Mommy and Daddy and calling you Future Step-mommy. When you think of these possibilities, does it make the current situation feel like a relief? If not, this might just have to be an ick that you live with (and that hopefully wraps up at some point not too long after the children become official adults).

Dear Prudence,

When using the bathroom at a friend’s house, is it rude to “borrow” a squirt or two of her expensive perfume?

—She Won’t Miss It

Dear Won’t Miss,

She might not miss it, but she will smell it! This isn’t something you’re going to be able to do in secret, so don’t make it weird—just ask.

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Dear Prudence,

How do I tell my friend she shouldn’t become an influencer? A co-worker of mine is talented and respected in our field, but lately she’s been posting TikToks on behalf of our brand with the hopes to get famous, quit, and influence full-time. However, she’s just not interesting enough. She’s a basic New York white girl, has really cheesy old millennial humor, and it’s not about looks—she just doesn’t have the charisma or personality to be a successful influencer. Should I tell her she doesn’t have what it takes, or should I let her keep posting and acting supportive when her content gets dismal numbers?

—Not a Subscriber

Dear Not a Subscriber,

My Friend Keeps Doing a Really Awful Thing in Front of Our Kids. I Need This to Stop. This Content is Available for Slate Plus members only I Have a $15 Million Estate and a Year Left to Live. My Son Is Going to Be Furious About My Plans for the Money. Help! I Can’t Believe the Very Strange Pet Names My Boyfriend and His Teen Girls Use for Each Other. I Work in the Business of Helping People Find Housing. One Colleague Is Absolutely Cold-Hearted About What We Do.

Hey, there are plenty of basic, cheesy, white millennials—and other types of people who don’t seem particularly unique—with robust followings. I’m not sure that being an influencer requires being super charismatic either. It seems that success in this arena is combination of posting a ton in a strategic way, and luck. You never know … she could be unintentionally hilarious on one video that goes viral and her popularity could take off from there. Maybe there is hope!

But if there isn’t—and actually, the fact that she’s posting on behalf of a brand is what makes me think this will flop. Selling stuff is generally what people do after they have captured a bunch of people’s interest, often by sharing very personal content, not before—you don’t have to tell her that. Her likes and comments (or lack thereof) will. And since she’s a coworker who’s posting about your place of work, it does makes sense to keep being supportive. Appearing to be a team player can be accomplished in 30 seconds a day with a couple of likes or a comment. You have my permission to roll your eyes while you do it.

Classic Prudie

Do you think it’s possible that two people who feel differently about having kids can stay together? What I mean is that, if one is willing to sacrifice the idea of having kids in order to remain with someone who strongly wishes to remain childless, is there ever a situation where that could actually work, or would it be an albatross around the relationship’s neck? Would it just lead to inevitable resentment later down the line? For context, I am a woman in a straight relationship and I’m the one who doesn’t want kids. My partner has expressed a desire to be a parent multiple times, yet he seems to backpedal his desire whenever I try to acknowledge our difference here. I want to be able to take him at his word (that it’s a sacrifice he’s willing to make) but the evidence suggests he’d be missing something really important if he pursued a life without parenthood. I am not sure where to go from here.

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